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Why Wedding Photo Sites Are Internet Porn For Women Posted 8/6/13 4:00 pm EST by Neal Stastny in Funny

Credit: Mark Metcalfe/Getty Images

dress It's probably safe to say that men watch way more internet porn than women do. That's because ladies have wedding photo sites to give them unrealistic depictions of something they frequently fantasize about. That doesn't mean they think about dresses or floral arrangements as often as guys think about sex -- but there are parallels between these online obsessions.

1. The People In Them Aren't Real

Sexy Beach Wedding Dresses Sale Obviously, porn stars exist, just like the brides and grooms in wedding site photos. However, they're not like anyone you know. The average guy never has sex with his boss, who happens to be a gorgeous, nymphomaniac squirter. Similarly, you'll never go to a wedding on a private Malibu beach where everyone looks (and is dressed) like a fashion model. Keep those expectations in check.

2. Absurd Locations

discount wedding dresses There are more than a few porn flicks set in outer space, even though sex in zero gravity would be a safety hazard . Likewise, there are numerous photos on wedding blogs that take place in old, disused barns. If your girlfriend seriously wants to get married in an old barn, make sure you have enough medicine to treat all your guests' rat and snake bites.

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3. She's Lying About How Often She Looks At It

wedding dresses online Not every guy watches so much porn that he feels the need to lie about it, and it's the same for girls with wedding photo sites. But if either of you catches the other in the act of looking at it, and ask how often this goes on, you'll both instinctively round down.

4. You Don't Actually Want To Try These Things

cheap wedding dresses for sale online Certain acts might look hot in porn, but they'll make you feel sh*tty in real life. Just like how, upon reflection, you'll feel sh*tty for throwing a circus-themed wedding .

5. The People In Those Images Are Filling A Void

Most of us don't have sex so that millions of strangers on the Internet can look at it, and most of us don't get married for the same reason. We're not talking about the inevitable Facebook wedding photos for friends and family -- we're talking about exhibitionism, which isn't healthy. Neither is addiction to viewing it, nuptial-related and otherwise.

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+ For more on weddings, watch " Ain't That America With Lil Duval " tonight at 11:30/10:30c on MTV2

Neal Stastny (@ NealStas ) is a comedian and writer in New York. Tags Photos , porn , Weddings

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